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Removing the Scarlet Letter -- The Evolved Single Parent

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The Evolved Single Parent Seminar with Marlene Dillon, Valante Grant and Lisa Goodman


I never intended to be a single parent. I come from a 2 parent home. My parents just celebrated 60 years of marriage. I just knew that I would get married, have kids and live happily ever after. I followed the rules and did what I was told. My marriage was miserable and my life unraveled. I had to pick up the pieces and rebuild my life. Now, I am the mother of a beautiful 15-year-old daughter. Not a day goes by that I don't wonder if I could have done better with a husband. That is my story. That is the scarlet letter that I wore. 

There are so many stories that single parents wear as scarlet letters. In the classic novel, by Nathaniel Hawthorne, Hester Prynne has the letter "A" embroidered onto her garments as punishment for adultery, which resulted in the birth of her daughter. The irony is that the minister, who persecuted her for adultery, was in fact the father of the child. Although the story is set in colonial times, many single parents still face these same types of stereotypes and judgement. In far too many cases, it is equally as hypocritical. Adultery is a terrible thing. It is just as bad when it is kept as a secret within a marriage, as it is when everyone finds out. Not all single parents are cheaters, or promiscuous, or uneducated or classless.

It is amazing to hear some of the reasons that people make up for unmarried parents who remain single. Far too many people wear these labels as scarlet letters. It is time to remove the scarlet letters. There are scores of single parents, who are virtuous and wise. They are wonderful parents. In some cases, children are better off in a happy single parent home, than in a miserable marriage. The evolved single parent is powerful, intelligent and creative. They know how to make things work and make the best of it. They understand the delicate balance between the sacrifice and the rewards of parenting. Life lessons, including mistakes are part of the process of evolution. No child is a mistake. The evolved single parent, makes the necessary adjustments to become the best parent possible.

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Valante M. Grant is the founder of The byDesign Network. She has built a network that encompasses broadcast media, audio and video production, copy writing and graphic design. Her primary creative focus is customization. Her philosophy is that every human being is one of God’s designer originals. She uses her creativity to design a life that fulfills her purpose and helps others reach their destiny. Valante will share her message of encouragement on her blog. Valante resides in the Chicago metropolitan area. Her inspiration is her daughter, Vanyce.


  • Guest
    lukeither Sunday, 08 May 2016

    Val, that is an inspiring story and a empowering testimony. Happy Mother's Day!

  • Fit and Healthy You!
    Fit and Healthy You! Friday, 30 September 2016

    I haven't read The Scarlet Letter, it sounds like a good book. This is a thought provoking post, I like how you included the video in your post. As I said, I have not read the book The Scarlet Letter, but from the description it sounds like it was partly a commentary on the time period, and could have been a true story. Do you think there is the same stigma attached to being a single parent today? I was a single parent myself for many years, and I know what I experienced, but I would like to hear more about your experiences.

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Guest Thursday, 21 September 2017