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Why She Gets Upset About Things That Have Nothing To Do With Her

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It is not uncommon to hear a man complain about a woman being upset about things that "have nothing to do with her." This leads to countless arguments and strains the relationship. I've observed a fundamental difference in the way many men and women think. To women, everything is related. To men, everything is separate. To him, it has nothing to do with her. To her, it has everything to do with her. 

A woman who is committed to a man and plans to share her life with him, thinks about the future and plans for the future. She adjusts her lifestyle to accommodate him in the future. Therefore she is concerned about how his lifestyle will impact their future together. We all have a limited amount of time and resources. Most women do not want to share life with someone who wastes time and resources. Here are a few scenarios:

1. A man works long hours. He goes to the game with his friend on his day off. When the woman wants to go out, he is too tired from work. She's angry because he did not think to spend any of his time off with her. He thinks, she's mad because he went to the game. 

2. A guy goes out for drinks after work and gets a sitter for his kids. When the woman needs quality time; he has no sitter. She's upset because he could have managed the sitter more wisely. He thinks she is being insensitive or doesn't like his kids.

Why does the woman get upset? Because she considers him when she makes decisions and manages her resources. A good woman plans ahead; and the man benefits from it. She expects the same consideration. It is no accident, that she's there when he needs her. She makes sure that her life and schedule don't conflict with his needs. When he can't be there when she needs him, she points out all of those things that "have nothing to do with her." It's not that she doesn't want him to do those things or have any fun without her. She just wants him to consider the fact that his decisions have a major impact on the relationship. 

A woman who truly loves and supports a man is a treasure. A good relationship is definitely worth a little planning and consideration.

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Valante M. Grant is the founder of The byDesign Network. She has built a network that encompasses broadcast media, audio and video production, copy writing and graphic design. Her primary creative focus is customization. Her philosophy is that every human being is one of God’s designer originals. She uses her creativity to design a life that fulfills her purpose and helps others reach their destiny. Valante will share her message of encouragement on her blog. Valante resides in the Chicago metropolitan area. Her inspiration is her daughter, Vanyce.


  • Fit and Healthy You!
    Fit and Healthy You! Tuesday, 29 November 2016

    I have learned to be independent, to a point--or rather, interdependent--that is a more accurate term. In the two scenarios you presented, I would eventually arrange my own sitter, and then go out with my friends, without my significant other. Not because I wouldn't want him there, but I feel that it makes a relationship stronger to have time apart, and for each person to do their own thing, occasionally. A woman who does this is likely to make her man appreciate her more, and if he is mainly thinking about what makes him happy, this will in turn make him want his woman's company more, and he might take her for granted, less.

    I'm currently reading "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" by Steven Covey; and this is influencing and changing how I view situations, like this one. He presents principles that can be applied to every area of life: family, friends, self, and business.

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